More steroids

We have been facing another relapse. Well, not really another. Dustin's neurologist says it's been one continuous relapse again that they can't get under control. This time it has affected his entire left side. He was trying to avoid the steroids as he has taken so much in the 4 years since his diagnosis that he has no calcium left in teeth but to no avail. He started having problems with his teeth about 2 years in to this and the dentist was shocked when he saw that he really had very little calcium left. I can only imagine what it has done to his bones. When it comes to holding off on the steriods, the vertigo gets the better of him every time. It's tough when he vomits every time he moves his head. I remember the first time he had the vertigo. I received a call at work from his best friend who had been at the house earlier in the day telling me he wasn't doing well. I phoned home to check on him and he didn't answer the phone. I came home to find him on the lying bathroom floor not able to even get up and move to his bed. I managed to get him to the car and to the hospital where he did a three day stint. That was the beginning of the steroid journey.

As his mom, this is so, not about me, it is about him and his illness but there is still so much guilt wondering if I had done something differently while I was pregnant, if we had stayed in California rather than move to Alberta, Canada where the incidence of MS is so extremely high would he be OK and not have to endure this beast of a disease?

He still has not made a decision on switching to Tysabri. He can't get past losing the airmiles he says. My hunch is he has some fear around switching. The thought of a brain infection scares him.

I cry for him almost every day and wish I could take this one away from him. Feeling helpless again......